Closer Than Ever
by Technician Fan
Summary: Lorne and Cadman are handcuffed together by Sheppard the Great, who manages to lose the key. How are they going to live out their lives when they can't be two feet from each other? Lorne/Cadman, some Sheyla and McKeller later. AUish.
1. It's All Sheppard's Fault

Title: Closer Than Ever

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this idea.

A/N: Okay, I thought of this idea while playing ping-pong, so if it sucks, you know why. This also takes place around the episode Reunion in the fourth season. Lorne and Cadman, in the beginning of this story, are friends, but not close friends. More on the line of acquaintances.

Chapter One: It's All Sheppard's Fault

"I'll talk," Lorne said to Cadman. They were about to go into Carter's office. "You just stand there and nod."

"No way!" Cadman retorted. "This is as much my problem as it is yours."

Lorne sighed. "Fine, but keep your hand behind your back. Let's not expose the problem any more than it needs to be." She nodded her head and put her left hand behind her back while he put his right hand behind his back. He took a deep breath and they entered Carter's office.

Carter looked up from a data padd that she was reading. "Major Lorne, Lieutenant Cadman, what can I do for you?"

"Ma'am, we have a problem," Cadman said. She exchanged a quick glance with Lorne before they both took their hands out from behind their backs. Cadman's left hand and Lorne's right hand were attached by a pair of handcuffs.

"What…?" Carter trailed off.

"This is all the brilliant work of Colonel Sheppard, ma'am," Lorne said. "He decided that he was the best magician on Atlantis and handcuffed us together, saying that he could get us undone. Then he accidentally dropped the key into the ocean. Now we can't get undone."

Carter looked at them with a surprised and shocked expression. "Well… I don't know what to say. Uh… I guess I'm just sorry to hear about this."

"What?! Aren't you going to do something about this?" Cadman asked in an exasperated tone. "Ma'am," she added.

"Lieutenant, what exactly do you expect me to do? I can't put everything down just because you two were victims of Colonel Sheppard's magic tricks," Carter replied. "Look, I understand that you're a bit… angry at what has happened, but what do you expect me to do? All I can say is that you should try and find the key."

"Colonel," Lorne interrupted. "We can't exactly find a key that's been dropped off one of the highest balconies on this tower into the ocean."

"Scan the surface of the ocean floor," Carter said. Cadman could tell that Lorne was starting to get on her nerve. Maybe she should just … leave.

"Uh, Major, that seems like a good idea, come to think of it," Cadman said. "We can just go ask one of the technicians to run the scan and we can hope that they're able to find it." Lorne looked at her and sighed, muttering something incoherent. Cadman gave a tug and he followed her out of Carter's office to the control room.

"Hey, Chuck, can you run a scan of the ocean floor?" Cadman asked the Canadian technician. He nodded and wheeled his chair over to a laptop, hitting a few buttons.

"Scan started. It should take about thirty minutes." he said. "Anything in particular that we're looking for?"

"A key," Lorne said in an annoyed and pissed off fashion. "A tiny, silver key, about the size of a quarter."

Chuck looked at him. "Sir, that's going to be next to impossible to find."

"I realize that, but apparently Cadman and Colonel Carter don't. I tried to explain it to them, but they wouldn't listen." Lorne said thanks and walked down the stairs and through the gate room, heading towards his quarters.

"You really are an annoyance," Cadman said, following him. "It's bad enough that I was stuck in McKay's head, and now I'm handcuffed to you!" She threw her hands up in the air, along with Lorne's right hand. "It just always has to happen to me! Why couldn't if have been someone else?"

She tried to turn right to go to her quarters but Lorne was walking left. She lost her balance and fell to the floor, landing on her right shoulder. Lorne started to fall down with her but he managed to stay up.

"Ow," Cadman muttered. With her left hand, she grabbed his right hand and heaved herself up. "Great, now I'm going to have sore muscles. No thanks to you."

"Hey, it's not my fault. I was simply heading towards my quarters. You just weren't following," Lorne said.

"Excuse me? What about my needs?" Cadman retorted. "Why can't I make a decision? Why does it have to be you all the time? What if I want to go to my quarters?"

"I'm the higher ranking officer. What I say goes," Lorne said in a matter of fact tone. He started to walk towards his quarters again.

"Don't you dare condescend me!" Cadman reluctantly followed him. "I don't care what you say, sir, but I have rights, too, you know." They stopped in front of the doors to his quarters. Lorne turned to face her.

"Very well. If you have any desire to eat or drink or go to the bathroom, feel free to tell me," Lorne swiped his hand over the door control panel and the doors slid open. He went inside, but Cadman stood her ground and refused to go in. "That's it," Lorne said, "you leave me no choice." He lifted her off her feet and carried her in, bridal style.

"Put me down!" Cadman said. He took one look at her and dropped her over his bed, forgetting that he was still attached to her. When she landed on her back, he was pulled down on top of her. His face landed two inches from hers. She could feel his breath on her face. His blue eyes were staring into her hazel ones. His lips were just in reach… whoa, when did she start thinking that? This has gone on too long. "Major, when were you planning on getting off of me?"

His face turned to shock. He got off her and stood there, his cheeks starting to get flushed with pink. "Sorry, I, uh… sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"I know, it was a mistake," Cadman said. A stupid one, at that, but a mistake, nonetheless. One that she wishes could happen again… okay, now she was scaring herself. He was her CO for god's sake! There was a pause, an awkward one, then Lorne grabbed a data padd.

"You hungry?" He asked her. She nodded, unable to speak. He took a step towards the door and she followed, feeling like a ghost. They entered the mess hall, which was currently empty except for Sheppard and Teyla, who were sitting at a table in the far corner. Lorne grabbed two sandwiches while Cadman grabbed a couple of drinks and they headed over to the occupied table.

"Well, look who it is," Sheppard said as they walked up to them. "The Major and the Lieutenant, Air Force and Marine, working together as a united force. Isn't that sweet?"

"Can it, sir," Cadman said, sitting down across from him while Lorne sat down next to her. She handed him one of the drinks and grabbed a sandwich. Before she could say anymore, her radio buzzed. "Cadman here."

"_Ma'am, the scan found nothing_," a technician said.

"Okay, thanks for trying at least. Cadman out." Cadman turned to Sheppard. "This is all your fault. We're never going to get undone, no thanks to you."

Sheppard looked shocked. "Excuse me, Lieutenant? How is this my fault? You're the ones that volunteered to be part of the magic show."

"Sir," Lorne said. "We never volunteered. You asked for volunteers and when no one raised their hand, you chose us. So, overall, this is your fault."

Sheppard thought it over. "I guess it is my fault. Sorry about that. But what do you expect me to do?"

"Get. Us. Un. Hooked," Cadman said through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word. "Now."

"I'm trying to play pitch up here," Teyla said.

"Catch up, Teyla, it's catch up," Sheppard whispered to her.

"Okay, I'm trying to play _catch_ up, then. What exactly happened?"

Sheppard sighed. "Well, I was having fun being a great magician. I needed two volunteers, and I chose these two. I handcuffed them together and was about to get them undone when the key dropped into the ocean. Now we can't find it and these two are stuck together." Teyla gave a slow nod. Sheppard looked back at the other two. "Nighty-night." He stood up and walked out of the mess hall.

Nobody spoke, and soon Teyla got up as well and left. Cadman finished up her drink. She looked over at Lorne and saw that his eyes were starting to close slowly. "Major?" she asked, tapping his shoulder.

His eyes flew open and he looked at her. "Hmm… what?"

"Sir, I think it's time for you to go to sleep. You look kinda tired," Cadman said. He nodded and gave his head a quick shake before standing up and taking his garbage. Cadman stood up and after throwing away their trash they headed towards the crew quarters' atrium.

"So where are we sleeping?" Lorne asked, turning to face her.

She froze. Good question, one that she didn't have an answer to. "Uh… I don't know. Your quarters are fine, I guess, as long as you have a normal mattress."

"Yeah, I do," Lorne said, puzzled at the mattress comment, but he didn't ask any further questions. They walked towards his quarters. His doors slid open and they walked in. As soon as the doors closed, he realized something. "Hey, Lieutenant, I have a question."

"What is it?" Cadman asked, sitting down on his bed and taking off her shoes. Right as she said that, she realized what he was going to ask.

Lorne looked at her. "How do we get changed into pajamas? I mean, we can change into our pants, but our shirts aren't coming off," Lorne said. He sat down next to her. She stared at him. He saw her looking at him and said, "I don't mean it in that way, I'm just saying—"

"I know what you're saying, sir," she said. This was going to be a problem. She was used to not wearing anything when sleeping, but even so, you need both arms to get any shirt with sleeves off. Crap. "We'll just have to sleep in the shirts we have on."

They sat there in silence. Lorne finally spoke up. "So, do you need to go get any pajama bottoms or anything?"

Crap again! "Yeah, see, the thing is, I don't own pajama bottoms," Cadman replied. Maybe he wouldn't ask any questions.

"So you sleep in your uniform?" Lorne asked her, puzzled again. Of course he asked questions.

"Not exactly," she replied slowly. "You see, I don't wear _anything_ to bed."

He looked at her, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. He was trying to say something, she was sure of it, but nothing was coming out. As she looked into his eyes she saw a hint of excitement.

Her embarrassment turned to a slight cross between fury and the knowledge that he was a guy, and like any other guy, he would think that this is some sort of opportunity. "Sorry to bust your bubble, sir, but you're not getting that lucky."

"What? No, no, no, god no, I wasn't… I mean I don't… I…" Lorne trailed off, trying to think of what to say.

"I know, I was just messing with you. C'mon, have a sense of humor."

"I have a sense of humor, thank you very much. I just haven't exactly been in a situation like this before, in this galaxy or the Milky Way galaxy."

"Well duh! It's not like every day you get handcuffed to another crew member by a bad magician and then end up being stuck like that because he lost the stinking key."

Lorne nodded. "Yeah, I get your point." He yawned. "I think I'll just stick to what I'm wearing. It'd be easier." He looked at his bed and then back at Cadman. "You want the left side and I'll take the right?"

"That depends, left from my point of view now, or when I'm actually in the bed?" Cadman asked.

"Left from the point of view when you're actually in the bed," Lorne said.

She nodded. "Sure, whatever."

She climbed into the bed with him. He lay down facing her, his right arm dangling in front of him. She got down and attempted to face him, but her right shoulder was screaming at her.

"Okay, never mind, not such a good idea," she said, sitting back up.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, my shoulder still hurts from my little accident earlier. I have to sleep on my left side."

"Go ahead, I could care less," he replied, sitting up so that she could maneuver herself easier. She lay down on her left side and realized that there was another problem.

He seemed to have realized it, too, because he asked her, "Lieutenant, how am I supposed sleep?"

Shit. "You know what, I could care less. Whatever makes you comfortable."

"Okay," he muttered. He lay down next to her, almost touching her due to the handcuffs making them. His right arm rested on her waist, his hand down beside her left. She could feel his breathing on her upper back and neck. It slowed down a bit and she knew that he was asleep, but she couldn't get to sleep. She needed to run, help her wind down a bit, but she knew that wouldn't happen.

She could hear him muttering in his sleep. She never knew he was one for talking in his sleep. His right arm tightened a little around her waist, causing him to be pulled closer to her. Much to Cadman's surprise, it felt comfortable, warm. She sank into his slight embrace and fell asleep easily. All night, though, only one thing kept running through her mind:

Why did it always have to happen to her?

A/N: Okay, weird ending, I know, but there's the first chapter! Let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions, feel free to run them off. OH, and try to find the two quotes from Duet that Cadman said. Reviews are welcomed greatly with soup and crackers. Not really, but just please review! It'll help me decide whether or not to continue with the story.


	2. Stupid handcuffs

Title: Closer Than Ever

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I never was really expecting that much. I got some tips from them that I have written into this chapter. Sorry about the wait, too. I was going to update this weekend but I went camping with some of my friends. So all in all, here's the next chapter.

Chapter Two: Stupid handcuffs

Cadman woke to an alarm blaring. She jumped up in her bed, elbowing something in the process. That something gave a moan of pain. Cadman then remembered what had happened the previous day. She sighed and dropped back onto the bed, covering her eyes with her arm.

"Morning," Lorne said. Cadman groaned in response. He chuckled softly. "C'mon, sunshine, get up. Time for me to get to work."

Cadman took her arm off her face and saw Lorne looking down at her with expectant eyes. She looked over at his alarm clock. It read 5:33 a.m. She groaned again. "No sensible person gets up at 5:30 in the morning."

Lorne gave another laugh. "In that case, I'm not sensible, am I? But seriously, Lieutenant, it's time to get up. I need to get to work."

Cadman sat up and glared at him. "What the hell are you going to do for work at this time? I mean, really, it's not like you're going to go on a mission. And you most certainly are not going to do much else during your day. So I ask you, what are you going to do if I get up?"

Lorne looked at her as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "I don't know, I was just going to try and get these stupid handcuffs off so that we can get on with our lives. That is what you want, right?" Cadman nodded. "Well last night I had an idea. Maybe we can at least cut the chain off that's connecting the cuffs."

"That's a good idea. Fine, I'll get up. But you'd better give me some coffee!"

***********************************************************************************************************************************

"Okay, this plan had better work," Cadman said. They were about to try and cut the chain off. They'd already had two failed attempts. One of those times, both Lorne and Cadman got their hands ever so slightly burned. "And if my hand is cut off in the process, I will sue you for everything. I don't care if this was started by Sheppard, I'm suing you."

Lorne shook his head in amusement. "Yeah, whatever. Speaking of Sheppard, though, we should get back at him somehow. You know, as payback for what he did to us."

Cadman nodded her head. "I've been thinking about that. I can think of a bunch of ideas, but they aren't enough. He needs something big done back to him. And I mean BIG."

"Okay, but before we do anything to him, we need to see if this will work. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Let's just get this thing over with. I'm sorry, but I can't go another day like this." Cadman shuddered at the thought.

"Gee, I feel loved," Lorne said sarcastically. He got the saw thing ready. He took a deep breath and turned it on, aiming it for the chain. Sparks flew everywhere. After about half a minute, he turned it off and they looked at the chains.

"Not even a scratch," Cadman said. "What are these handcuffs made out of?"

"Only one way to know: ask the person who handcuffed us in the first place," Lorne said.

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"Colonel!" Lorne said when they finally managed to catch up to Sheppard.

Sheppard turned around and smiled in delight at the sight of them still together. "Ah, Major, Lieutenant, how's it going?"

"Horribly," Cadman said. Her fists were balled up and Lorne could tell that she was two seconds away from punching his face, which both of them knew was out of question. "But that's not why we're here. We need to know what these handcuffs are made out of. They won't break. We tried sawing the chain. It didn't work. We tried flame blowing it, and all that caused was our hands to be burned."

"I can see that," Sheppard interrupted, looking at their hands. He looked back up at Lorne and Cadman. "And I'd love to help you, but I can't. I don't know what those handcuffs are _exactly_ made of. All I know is that they're made from some sort of metal or mineral or something found on Athos. One of the kids gave it to me before they moved onto the mainland of our old planet. Maybe Teyla can tell you what it's made out of, but you'll have to wait. She's off world with Ronon right now till tomorrow."

"NO!" Cadman yelled. Both Sheppard and Lorne jumped slightly at the amount of volume in her voice. "I can't wait until tomorrow! Tonight is girls' poker night! No guys allowed! And I am so not missing it. This is the only time of year that prices are tripled, and everyone knows that I'm the best one there. I could make millions! Well, maybe a few hundred, but you get my point! I can't go if he's handcuffed to me!"

"Uh… maybe you could ask one of the other girls if I could tag along," Lorne said. "I'm sure they'd understand."

Cadman thought for a minute. "I guess that might work. I can't promise that you, or I, will be able to go, but I think I could convince Katie Brown. Yeah, I'd be able to do that."

"Great! Then let's go and ask somebody," Lorne said. She turned and headed off towards the botany lab with Lorne in tow. When they were far enough away from Sheppard, he said in a low voice, "Hey, Lieutenant, I had an idea about how we can get back at Sheppard, and I think your little girlfriends can help us."

Cadman giggled. "I bet that they would absolutely help. Most of them have been doofed up by Sheppard at one point or another."

"Doofed up? What the hell does that mean?" Lorne asked her as they walked into the botany lab.

"I don't mean like, you know, really far. I just mean that they have been under Sheppard's little flirtations. And they all love his hair. I mean, who doesn't?" Cadman asked, looking around for Katie. She saw Lorne looking at her with a strange look. "What? Seriously, you have to admit that he's got the best hair. Don't worry, though, you have your own little club of fan girls." She laughed at Lorne's surprised look. She looked at someone behind Lorne and said, "Katie, there you are!"

Lorne turned around to see the redhead right behind him. "Laura, Major, what are you doing here?" She noticed the handcuffs and gave the two of them a confused look.

"It's a long story, Katie," Cadman said with an annoyed voice. "Don't even ask. Look, about tonight, can the major come? I know it's GIRLS' poker night, but I'm kind of attached to him and I can't get away. That and I don't want to miss tonight, with all the tripling of prices and everything."

Katie gave a soft smile, the kind of smile that always comforts you. "Well, I guess so. But know this, Major: none of the girls are going to treat you the way that you would want them to. These are hard core girls looking for money. So don't think you're going to get lucky."

"I wasn't going to-" Lorne started to say.

"Good! And if you want to play with us, I guess you can, but don't think that you're going to win. Especially if you go up against Laura." Katie exchanged an amused glance with Cadman.

"I'll keep that in mind," Lorne said. He was about to turn and leave with Cadman but then he remembered something. "Oh, yeah, Katie, I need to ask you something. You see, Sheppard's the one that did this to us." He gestured to the handcuffs. "And these are, like, completely indestructible. So could you, perhaps, help out with the revenge? I had this brilliant idea…."

A/N: I know, cliffy, sort of, but I wanted to update as soon as I possibly could, so yeah. The next chapter will be the poker night, and I might I say that it will be very amusing. Please review!!!! Once again, I love you all that reviewed before and story alerted and favorited this story. Thanks!! Toodles!


	3. Girl's Poker Night

**Chapter Three: Girls' Poker Night**

**By Technician Fan**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: Hey, reader people, I'm back! Sorry I took so long. It's not even October yet (as I write this) and already I've had four tests, two pop quizzes, homework four days a week (give or take a couple days) and no time to update. So, like, sorry. Anyway, thanks for the reviews!!!!!!!! I'm happy that all of you are reading. Thanks for the ideas I've been getting, too. Here's the next chapter, the much anticipated and much waited for Girls' Poker Night. OH!!!!! I'm sorry if the girl team from the episode "Whispers" is a little OOC. I haven't seen the episode in a while and there wasn't really much on them as it is.**

* * *

"Lieutenant, what do you expect me to do while you're gambling your paycheck?" Lorne asked Cadman as they walked to where the poker night was being held. They rounded a corner and continued walking.

"It depends on what the other girls think," Cadman said. "They might let you gamble along with us, or they might not. If they don't, though, you could always give me a little bit of help." She smiled devilishly.

"No way, Lieutenant," Lorne said. "If you're the so called champion, I think you can handle yourself. And even if you can't, what makes you think that I would give up the chance to see you lose?" He smiled back at her.

"Very funny, Major. But it's that or you can be bored out of your mind and just watch us all play for the next three hours." She laughed at Lorne's reaction. They turned another corner and went through the door directly to the right. "Just try not to say anything, okay?" Lorne grumbled something incoherent in response.

"Laura!" A voice called. "Why'd you bring the major?"

The duo turned to the right to see Alicia Vega. Vega looked slightly confused as to why Lorne was there.

"Alicia," Cadman greeted. "Hi. Uh, Major Lorne is here thanks to Colonel Sheppard."

"What did Colonel Messy Hair do this time?" Vega asked in a voice that made it seem like she knew that she shouldn't have asked anything.

"Colonel…?" Lorne asked, confused. Cadman mouthed 'don't ask' "Um, the Colonel handcuffed us together, thinking he was an almighty Magician or something. Now we're stuck and Lieutenant Cadman wouldn't miss tonight's poker night so she forced me to tag along."

Vega shrugged. "Whatever. So are you going to betting tonight or what?" She turned and walked towards the big table in the middle of the room. A few other girls were already sitting there, all whispering about the major's presence. Or just the major. Who knows?

"I don't know," Lorne said, pulling out a chair and gesturing at it politely to Cadman. She took a seat and he sat beside her. "I might, I might not, it really just depends."

"Basically, he's saying that he's afraid that I'm going to kick his ass and leave him broke and homeless in the middle of nowhere," Cadman said. All the girls laughed. Lorne rolled his eyes but smiled in amusement.

"Right, Cadman, I'm really worried," he replied sarcastically. "If you did manage to win any of my money, though, I could just order you to give it all back. After all, I am your superior officer." He smiled in delight. There was more laughter.

"I think not, Major," she said. "For all you know, I could go all boom bam and get a bunch of promotions in one day, making me a Colonel. Then I'd be your superior officer."

"Like you're really going to get a bunch of promotions in one day," Lorne said.

"You never know."

A small group of women walked through the door giggling. They all stopped when they saw Lorne sitting at the table. They quietly walked over and sat down, looking at Lorne the whole time. All of them kept looking quizzically at each other and then at Cadman, whose hands were on the table along with Lorne's right hand, still attached to hers.

"Long story," she said. "But he has to be here in order for me to be here."

"Make sense to me," one of the women said. Lorne recognized her as one of the newest members of the Expedition, Alison Porter. "You're gonna be pretty darn bored, though."

"Nonsense," Cadman said before Lorne could respond. "He's going to be playing right along with us. Right, Major?"

He turned his head to glare at her. "Fine, I'll play, okay? But you're on. Don't say I didn't warn you." Cadman scoffed at him and shook her head, shaking a little with laughter.

The rest of the girls arrived and they started the game. Vega dealt out cards to everyone.

The girl to Vega's left looked at her cards. She had a great poker face as she added in a few chips. (Quick A/N: Sorry if my poker stuff is wrong. I don't really know the rules. Haven't exactly played it before.) The next girl sighed added in two chips. Cadman was next. She gave a smile and picked up a card and put in a few chips. Lorne gave a short laugh.

"What are you laughing at?" She asked him.

"You," Lorne replied. She looked puzzled and hurt at the same time.

"I think what he means is your supposed poker face," one of the girls, Sergeant Mehra, said.. "You know, the one that you say you have but really don't."

"Dusty, that is so mean," Porter said. "True, but mean." Dusty shrugged and giggled. A few seconds later the whole room was filled with girly giggles. Lorne gave Cadman the most frightened look ever. She giggled as well.

As the game progressed, Lorne ended up loosing his money to Cadman as she had predicted. One of the games, though, Cadman actually lost to Dusty. An hour into the game, Vega left the room and came back with a huge keg of beer. Lorne tried to be the sober one, but ended up getting drunk along with everyone else.

"Hey, Ve… Vega," he said. She looked up in response. "Where…. Where's that friend of yours? You know…. Your almighty team leader?"

"She's training tonight," Vega replied, her words slightly slurred. She leaned forward and everyone followed suit, wondering what she was going to say. "With a guy," she whispered. There was a big chorus of "oohs" with a couple wolf whistles and cat calls. "Lucky lady," Porter said. All the women nodded in agreement. "I need a man in my life. Maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to find one. Preferably with a foreign accent, blue eyes, and darkish hair. And funny and smart and a doctor like me. But what are the chances of that?"

"Even if you did find that kind of guy," Dusty said, "who says that he's going to be single? All the good guys are taken." All the other women agreed with her. "That or they are being all flirtatious with one of us and should totally be with her. Like, like, Teyla and Colonel Messy Hair." She yawned and put down her cards. "I fold."

"Me, too," another woman said. She, too, was yawning.

"I'm never going to fold," Cadman said. "I'm going to win this game and earn my money."

"That's what you think, Laura," Katie Brown said. "I think that the major is beating you at this point." Everyone nodded in conformity. "Maybe you will give up your crown of glory to him."

"Sorry to break it to you, Katie, but I can't give up my crown to him. He is, after all, a guy, and this is GIRLS' poker night, not guys'," Cadman retorted. "Besides, if he knows what's good for him, he'll just fold." She turned to look at Lorne. "If you even think about beating me in my own game, I will punish you severely tonight."

"Uh, Lieutenant," Lorne said. "That…. It kind of doesn't sound… well, to tell you the truth… That sounds…. Ugh, I can't say it!" He slammed the table with his fist.

Cadman stared at his with wide eyes. "Okay…… that wasn't strange or anything. Anyway, who else folds?" The rest of the girls folded, leaving Cadman and Lorne in an all-out war for the crown of the night.

"I'm not folding, Cadman," Lorne said, smiling as he looked at his cards. Cadman gritted her teeth and glared at him. "I don't care what you say or what you threaten me with. I will take that precious little crown of yours away from you. I told you before that I shouldn't be playing this with you, but you're the one who said that I should play. So, technically, you should be the one blamed for your dethroning tonight."

Cadman didn't say anything for a mere moment. Then she replied in a matter-of-fact-tone, "I'm sorry, sir, but that is a load of bull shit." She put in the rest of her chips and everyone turned their eyes on Lorne.

He gave her a slight nod and put in the rest of his chips as well. The rest of the room was pin-drop silent. Cadman sighed in satisfaction.

"Better yet, Cadman," Lorne said. "I could just order you to fold. Then I'd win."

"That is so not fair!" Cadman yelled at him. He just laughed at her. "You can't…. this is abusing your position, you know. I could get you fired for this."

"Like Colonel Carter's going to fire me just because I ordered you, someone under my command, to fold their cards in a poker game."

"You never know," Cadman said. She muttered something under her breath.

"Trust me, I know," Lorne said. "Even if she's only been here for, what, a week?" He looked at her and smiled. She looked right back at him. They continued to stare at each other until Cadman finally picked up her cards.

She set them back down on the table, face down. "I fold."

Everyone groaned. "How could you, Laura?" "He's a guy!" "Don't let him take your crown away!" "That was dumb!"

Lorne smiled and took all the chips. "Thank you ladies. It was a pleasure playing you all. Especially you, Lieutenant." He put down his cards to reveal a three of hearts, a four of spades, a jack of clubs, a queen of diamonds, and a seven of hearts. "I played you all. I didn't have a hand worth shit. And you fell for it."

By this time Cadman was absolutely pissed. She was clenching her fists in anger and her knuckles were completely white. She took a deep breath and swung her fist in the direction of Lorne's face. It connected with his nose. Everyone gasped at it.

"Ow, dammit!" Lorne said, putting his hands over his nose. "Lieutenant, I think you broke my nose!"

Cadman smiled and tugged on his arm that was attached to hers. "You'll be fine, trust me. Now c'mon, I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. In my own bed, too, would be nice."

"Fine," Lorne said in a tone that made it seem like it wasn't fine. He was having fun winning and beating Cadman. He stopped when he got to the door, though. "Wait a minute, Lieutenant. We forgot to ask the ladies something." He turned to the rest of the group. "Ladies, I-- we-- have a favor to ask of you. We're getting our revenge on Colonel Sheppard and we might need some help from you all."

"Say no more, Major," Dusty said. "We'll help. A lot of us want our little revenge, too, so I guess it'll be okay. What is it, anyway?"

"Well," Lorne started. Before he could get any farther, though, he swayed a little and had to be held up by Cadman. "Whoa, what's up with that?"

"Major, I think you've had a little too much to drink," she said. "Let's go before I have to support all of your weight. Bye, girls!"

"Bye!" They all called back to her as she exited the room.

Walking and supporting Lorne back to her room was easier than she expected. There were a few moments when he really started to lose it and she had to get him back, but other than that it was a breeze. The real trouble happened when they got back to her quarters.

"Okay, Major," Cadman said as she helped him over to the bed. "Here we go. That's it, that's it, good job." At least she had him laying on the bed. She sat next to him and thought of how to go from there.

"Hey…. Laura… I can call you Laura, right?" Lorne asked in a drunken way. She nodded her head. " 'Kay, well, you want to know something?"

Cadman sighed. This was like taking care of a three-year-old. "What is it?"

"I'm a… a… a Major," he whispered, smiling.

"I know that," Cadman said, giggling. He was silent after that, twiddling his thumbs.

He stopped twiddling and he looked up at her and smiled. She smiled back at him, not wanting to be rude, not that he would know the difference. He finally spoke. "You know, Laura, you're pretty. Really, really pretty."

Okay, that wasn't exactly what she was expecting. "Um, Major, you're drunk. I don't think you really mean that."

"No, Laura, I do," he said in a firm voice. "Your nice, shhhiny hair, your sparkling eyes, your sweet smile… It's all pretty. I love it. That's why I like to make you laugh so much. It gives off this really nice radiance that I love as well."

This was really starting to freak her out. He didn't mean it, did he? "Major, you don't even know what you're saying. Just get some rest, we'll…. We'll talk about this in the morning." At least then he wouldn't remember it.

She shoved him over and lay down on the bed beside him. Her shoulder was still a little sore, so they had to sleep the same way as last night, not that drunk Lorne cared.

"Laura, one more thing," he said. She cursed under her breath and turned around to see him. As soon as she was facing him, he planted his lips on hers. She struggled away from him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" She said as soon as she got away from him. Her first reaction was to jump up and run out the door, but no thanks to Sheppard's magic, she was stuck here. "Major, I'm sorry, but this is way out of the question. I can't… I can't do this!!"

"But, Laura, I--" Before he could utter anything else, she punched him again and knocked him out.

"This is, like, the perfect OMG moment," she muttered before finally closing her eyes and getting some rest.

One thing, though: what about the next morning????

**

* * *

****A/N: So, yeah, that's the chapter. I know it's kinda boring, ish, but oh well! At least I updated. Reviews are welcome! Oh, and one more thing:::: My friend has a chicken that looks exactly like Cadman. It's feathers are like her hair and it has the same eyes as her. It even acts like her! So I named her Cadman. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. The Morning After

**Chapter Four: The Morning After**

**By Technician Fan**

**Disclaimer: I only own the story line. Everything else belongs to other people that make money. I don't even have a job!**

**A/N: Hey, thanks for the reviews! I appreciate them! And I'm back finally! So, like, yeah. That's it.**

**Lorne woke up the next morning with the sun shining onto his face. He had a massive headache and he couldn't remember anything. He looked down a little and saw Cadman was still sleeping. He looked over at the clock and saw that it was 2:34 p.m. Afternoon. Crap.**

**He looked around and didn't recognize anything. They must be in her room. Made sense. He shifted a little and Cadman groaned. She fluttered open her eyes and looked over at him. **

"**Well, if it isn't Major Get Drunk Off Your Ass. Morning, Major," she said in a soft voice that sounded a bit louder to Lorne.**

"**Good AFTERNOON, Lieutenant," Lorne replied. "It's 2:34, Cadman. Not exactly morning."**

"**But don't you feel refreshed? Isn't it better than getting up at five in the morning?"**

**Lorne sighed. "I admit, it is better. But the day's already gone by halfway. That's half a day wasted. Not exactly a great schedule." She laughed softly. "What exactly happened last night?"**

**Her face seemed to shudder at a memory. This wasn't going to be good. "Well, you got drunk. Really drunk. I had to practically carry you back here. And no offense, but you're not exactly as light as a feather. Then I had to get you to sleep, which you didn't want to do, and… uh… yeah, that's just about it."**

**She was holding something back. "What else happened? I can tell something else happened."**

"**You beat me in poker."**

**She still looked a little different. "Lieutenant, did I do anything to embarrass myself? Anything like try and run around naked or something? Sing something off key?"**

**She laughed again. "No, nothing to embarrass yourself. Nothing that anyone else could see, that is." She hesitated. "You kinda said a few things that might be considered as sexual harassment."**

**I gave a small choke. "Wait, what?!"**

**She rolled over a little, sitting up. I sat up with her. She looked at her hands. "You just told me that I was pretty, that I had shiny hair. You like it when I laugh. And then…" She trailed off.**

"**And then…?" Lorne asked, curious and scared at the same time.**

"**And then the sexual harassment came," she replied. She smiled at the horror on his face. "You kissed me so I knocked you out with my fist."**

**Lorne's mouth dropped open. "Seriously?"**

"**Seriously. You seemed to like it, too."**

"**I liked it?" Lorne asked, totally baffled by this point. "Why would I like kissing you?"**

"**I'll take that as a compliment, sir," she said. "Anyway, should we get our revenge today?"**

"**I actually think that we should wait till AFTER he takes the handcuffs off. That way he won't change his mind about letting us free."**

"**I thought you wouldn't mind," she said, teasing him. "After all, that kiss was impressive for the whole two seconds of it."**

"**Oh, shut up Lieutenant," he said sternly. He was a bit amused though. But just a bit!**

**Before Cadman could respond, the intercom sounded. "**_**Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman to the control room immediately.**_**"**

**Lorne and Cadman stood up and walked out of the her quarters. She had to direct the way to the control room. When they got there, Sheppard was standing there with a smug look on his face. **

"**Good afternoon Major and Lieutenant," he said. "We've been trying to get you over your radios for an hour now. Where've you been? Or, more importantly, what have you been doing?" **

"**Sleeping," Lorne said. "Now what was it that you called us here for?"**

"**I just wanted to inform you about a little party we're having tonight. It's mandatory that you wear nice clothes, but since you're handcuffed, I guess I can let it slide. Just so you know."**

"**Party?" Cadman asked. "What for?" **

"**Cause partying is fun," Sheppard said as though she was stupid. "Besides, this is a great time to do it. Anyway, you had better come or I won't take the handcuffs off."**

"**Do you have the key yet?" Lorne asked in a hopeful tone.**

"**Yes, I do. That's actually why you were called up here," he said. He opened up his breast pocket and pulled out a small, almost deformed looking key. "I took the liberty of sending a troop of skilled marines out to scuba dive and find a shiny object that looked like a key. One of them found it. Lucky you."**

"**Wait, why can't we be released now?" Cadman asked him.**

"**Because I have the key, which means I have the power. I'll release you in the morning. Besides, this gives you a good chance to learn more about each other. Talk it out, or something like that." He gave a short wave and turned around, walking away and stuffing the key back into his pocket. **

"**If he wasn't my CO, I'd so kick his ass," Lorne said. **

**Cadman was puzzled. "I still don't get the point of the party."**

**Lorne shrugged. "This is Colonel Sheppard we're talking about."**

"**You have a point there."**

**A/N: So, there's the chapter. Next chapter will be the party!!!!!! I know this one was probably slightly boring, but whatever. REVIEWS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!**


	5. Le Parte

Chapter Five: Le Party

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, yaddy, yaddy, ya.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! And now, what you've all been waiting for, the party that Sheppard oh so nicely put together! Read on to find out more!

"Do you think this dress makes me look fat?" Cadman asked as she examined -herself in the mirror. She was wearing a light pink dress that went over one shoulder; the one that wasn't part of the handcuffs. She had managed to get into it about half an hour ago. After that, she had Lorne help her put her hair up.

Lorne sighed. He was still in uniform. "Seriously, Lieutenant, you look fine. Now can we just go already?"

Cadman turned to him and gave him a withering look. "I don't know if you know, Major, but this is an occasion of a lifetime. If I don't look my best, I swear, I'll be, like, one of the worst people in this place. The girls will make fun of me on the next poker night. I don't want to be the lame one, the girl on the sidelines; I wanna stand out!"

"You don't think this is enough?" Lorne said, holding up his hand with the handcuffs, dragging hers along with it.

"No, I don't," she retorted. She looked at his uniform. "Are you seriously going dressed like that?"

He looked at his uniform and then back up at her. "Well what else do you expect me to wear? It's not like I can change as easily as you did, unless I wear a toga. And no, I'm not going to do that." He sighed. "Besides, who said we had to dress up? Colonel Sheppard said that we didn't have to because of our situation. Now c'mon, let's get this over with, okay?"

She sighed, looked at herself once more in the mirror, and turned back to him. "Fine, let's go."

On the way to the party, they decided to drop by Carter's office. She was dressed in a scarlet spaghetti strap dress that was down to the bottom of her knees. Her hair was down and had its somewhat natural waves.

She turned when Lorne knocked on the frame of her door entrance thing. "Ah, Major, Lieutenant, I see you're still handcuffed. What can I do for you?"

"Colonel Sheppard found the key, but he won't undo the 'cuffs," Lorne said. "I think he's going to try and make us suffer as long as possible."

Carter laughed. "That's Sheppard for you. But, uh, do you want me to talk to him about it?"

"That'd be nice," Cadman said. "As exciting as these past few days have been, I want to sleep by myself for once. I need some alone time."

"Alright, I'll talk to him after the party, assuming he hasn't passed out," Carter mused.

"Thanks, Colonel," Lorne said. He turned to leave and then turned back. "Colonel, we were just heading to the party. Care to join us?"

"Actually, I can't come at the moment. I have a couple of things to finish up. Besides, I'm waiting for someone to pick me up."

"Ooh, Sam, have a date, do we?" Cadman teased. Carter's face got red with embarrassment. Cadman and Lorne laughed. "Alright, alright, we'll leave you to your business. Have fun, though!"

"You, too," Carter said as they left. Lorne heard her sigh with exhaustion once they were out the door. Must be pretty hard having to deal with this in your first week or so in command. Then again, she had to be used to it.

Cadman suddenly grabbed his handcuffed hand in hers. She saw his surprised look. "It's just that it might look a little weird to other people that our hands are moving at the exact same pace. The people that don't know, that is."

Lorne nodded in realization. He held her hand back and they entered the mess hall where the party was taking place. A lot of people were already there. Sheppard was across the room, talking with Teyla, McKay, and Keller.

Lorne and Cadman made their way across the room to the small group. A few people looked at them weirdly as they saw the handcuffs on them.

"Major, Lieutenant," Teyla said as they came up. She was wearing a midnight blue tube top dress. "How's it going?"

Cadman groaned. "Ugh, don't ask." Everyone laughed. The music changed to a slow song/pop song; I'll Never Stop Loving You by Cher.

"Uh, dance?" McKay asked Keller. That was unusual. Lorne didn't know that they were there together. She nodded and they went out to dance.

"Since when…?" Lorne started to ask.

"Ronon's gone with his old pals now, so McKay got first shot at her," Sheppard said, heading out on the dance floor with Teyla.

Lorne turned to Cadman. "Um, yeah, wanna dance?"

She looked stunned by his offer, but nonetheless, she went out onto the dance floor with him. They clasped their handcuffed hands together. Lorne put his arm around her waist tentatively after she put her hand on his shoulder.

While they were dancing, he stepped on her toes by accident. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"I know, Major," she replied softly. "No one's the perfect dancer, you know." As if on cue, she stepped on his toes as well. Now it was his turn to grunt in pain. "Sorry."

"Like you said, no one's a perfect dancer," he said.

"_In time, even memories fade away. With time, we might live to forgive and forget from the stakes that are met. I broke some promises. Sometimes I've lied to you, but on thing will always be true: I'll never stop loving you_," Cher sang from the CD.

It felt almost customary for Cadman to lean her head against his shoulder as the two of them slowly danced. He put his chin against the top of her head as she closed her eyes. Her hair smelt like lilac, or was it lavender? Whatever it was, it smelt really nice.

"_No, no, no, I'll never stop loving you… Loving you_." The song ended and some people got off the dance floor to take a break. Cadman broke apart from Lorne and yawned.

"We've been here for all of one song and you're already tired?" Lorne teased.

Cadman gave him a half amused, half angry glare. "No, I'm not tired. I was just so… Never mind."

"You were so… what?"

"I was just so comfortable when we were dancing, that's all," she said, a blush rising up her cheeks.

The next song came on, What About Now by Lonestar. Lorne and Cadman danced again to it:

"_The sign in the window said for sale or trade On the last remaining dinosaur Detroit made Seven hundred dollars was a heck of a deal For a four hundred horsepower jukebox on wheels And that road rolls out like a welcome mat I don't know where it goes but it beats where we're at We always said someday somehow We were gonna get away gonna blow this town. What about now, how 'bout tonight? Baby for once let's don't think twice. Let's take that spin that never ends That we've been talkin' about. What about now, why should we wait? We can chase these dreams down the interstate And be long gone 'fore the world moves on and makes another round. What about now?We've been puttin' this off baby long enough Just give me the word, and we'll be kickin' up both know it's just a matter of time 'Til our hearts start racin' for that county line. What about now, how 'bout tonight?Baby for once let's don't think twice. Let's take that spin that never ends That we've been talkin' about, What about now, why should we wait? We can chase these dreams down the interstate And be long gone 'fore the world moves on and makes another round. What about now?We could hang around this town forever making plans But there won't ever be a better time to take this chance?What about now, how 'bout tonight?Baby for once let's don't think twice Let's take that spin that never ends That we've been talkin' about. What about now, why should we wait?We can chase these dreams down the interstate And be long gone 'fore the world moves on and makes another round What about now?What about now?_"

The song ended and Lorne and Cadman sat down. Teyla and Sheppard were still dancing to the next song that had come on, as were Keller and McKay. Lorne looked around at others who were there and dancing. The _Daedalus_ must have arrived since Dr. Novak and Major Marks were dancing a few feet away from Teyla and Sheppard. Sheppard noticed Lorne and Cadman and walked over.

"Hey, you two, how's it going?" He asked. Teyla came up behind him.

"Quite well, Colonel," Cadman replied. "Have you seen Sam yet?"

"Yeah, she's over there," Teyla answered, pointing towards a couple behind Keller and McKay. Carter was dancing with a tall man with grayish hair that was cut short. Lorne almost didn't recognize him.

"Wait, who is--?" He started.

Cadman interrupted him, though, practically shouting out, "Oh my god, is that General O'Neill?" Teyla nodded, looking over at the couple and smiling. "Since when did he get here?

"He arrived on the _Daedalus_ this afternoon while you two were still in your quarters," Sheppard said. "He said that he came here on business, but I think he was just missing his girlfriend."

"They are so cute together," Cadman said. She yawned again.

"Tired already, Lieutenant?" Sheppard asked.

She shook her head. "No, sir. I'm just bored. Can we go out on the dance floor again, Major?"

"Only if you stop calling me Major," he said, taking her hand and pulling her towards the dance floor. "For god's sake, Cadman, we're here at a party slash dance together, we've slept in the same bed for the last few nights, and I supposedly kissed you last night, though I don't know if I believe that." They started dancing again.

"Well believe what you want to, but it's true. I don't make up rumors about people kissing me. And if I have to call you Evan, you can call me Laura, sir."

"Drop the sir, Laura," he replied with a smug grin. She laughed and yawned again. "Laura, I think you are kinda tired. You've had a rough day, maybe. A rough week is more like it. C'mon, let's go to bed."

She sighed and they headed off towards her quarters. She dragged her feet the whole way. When they arrived, she immediately sat down on the bed and took off her heels while Lorne sat next to her. She leaned her head against his shoulder and took in a deep breath. She looked up at him after a minute or so and smiled.

"You know, I'm not really tired," she said. "I just found that party really boring. Besides, all Sheppard said we had to do was to go to the party. He didn't exactly specify as to how long we had to stay."

Lorne smiled back at her. "I like the way you think, Laura."

This seemed like the perfect moment to tease him. "You also like the way I look, my smile, my laugh…"

He pushed her and she fell onto her back, dragging him with her, both of them laughing. Lorne lay down right next to her, a few inches away from her. It reminded him of their first night handcuffed, although it was more awkward then. She was gazing up at him through her eyelashes, a soft smile on her face

"Actually, Laura, I do," he replied gently. She looked at him with a confused look on her face. "I do like your smile and your laugh. I also think that you're very beautiful." She was beyond shocked at this point. Her eyes were wide open and her jaw dropped. "I think you have the most beautiful eyes in the world. They've mesmerized me since the day we met. And--"

Before he could utter one more word, she placed her lips on his just as he had done the night before. He kissed her back, with more force than necessary. When she pulled away, she said, "I think that you have a wonderful smile, too. And you have awesome hair." He laughed at her. "To top it all off, your little group of, mote I say, 'fan girls' all love your eyes." He laughed again and kissed her, straddling her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arm that wasn't attached to her arm around her, slowly unzipping the back of her dress.

She broke off the kiss. "Wait a minute. This'd be a whole lot easier if we were un-cuffed. Should we go and ask Sheppard to undo this all?"

Lorne thought for a moment. "What if he says no? It wouldn't make a difference. Besides, I like a challenge."

She giggled as he kissed her again. "So do I."

A/N: THIS ISN'T THE END!!!!! There is more to come in the next chapter, which will probably be the last or second to last. Thanks for reading and reviews are appreciated greatly.


	6. Byebye, handcuffs!

Chapter Six: Bye-bye Handcuffs!

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

A/N: Here it is! The morning after the night! What will their reaction be to what they did? And what about their revenge on Sheppard?

Cadman woke up with the sun shining on her bare back. She blinked open her eyes and looked around. She was lying in her bedroom on top of Lorne, who was awake and had his arms around her. She yawned and propped herself up on her elbows.

"Morning, Laura," he said.

"Are you sure it's morning?" she asked him.

He chuckled softly. "Yeah, it's actually just about 10:30. Early for you, isn't it?"

"When it comes to waking up by myself, yes. How long have you been awake?"

"All of two minutes. I find that sleeping in is nice every once in a while. I can see why you wake up so late."

She looked up at his smiling face. He gave her a quick kiss on her forehead and all the memories from the previous night came back. "I can't believe how much trouble we're going to be in."

"That's assuming that someone finds out."

She laughed and stretched her arms out above her head. That's when she realized something. His arms were still around her waist. She looked at her left wrist and saw no cuff around it.

"We're free!" She shouted, sitting up fast. He looked at his own wrist as if he didn't believe her and noticed that his cuff was gone as well. "I can't believe we're free."

"Where'd the handcuffs go?" he asked her. They looked around the room and she spotted them on the bedside table next to the picture of her friends.

"Here they are," she said. She noticed a folded piece of paper on top of them. "And there's a note, too."

"What does it say?" he asked.

She opened up the piece of paper. "It says:_ Dear Major and Lieutenant: I'm glad you came to the party last night. Since you did, I came to your quarters this morning at around eight and uncuffed you. I hope you had a good time at the party, even though it didn't look like you did very much. But no matter, seeing as you had a good enough time last night in bed._ Oh that scumbag. Anyway_, Haha. I won't turn you in, don't worry. Sincerely, Colonel Sheppard_."

"Oh crap," Lorne said, his mouth open in a wide o.

"Yeah, this is bad. Our freaking CO knows about what happened. Shit! We're gonna get court marshaled! One of us will have to go back to the SGC and work there! We'll never see each other again." She pouted out her lip.

He chuckled again and kissed her softly. "I'm pretty sure that we can talk to Sheppard about this and get our of trouble. Besides, he said that he wouldn't tell anyone. As long as he doesn't tell someone like Carter or that doctor lady that just pours out every secret, we'll be fine. C'mon, let's go and talk to him."

They got up and took a quick shower together before getting dressed. Cadman got clothes from her closet and Lorne wore what he did the night before. They headed out to the mess hall for a quick snack.

Sheppard was at mess hall, surprisingly. He was sitting with Teyla, McKay, Keller, and Carter. Lorne and Cadman grabbed a tray of scrambled eggs with bacon and a carton of milk before joining them at their table.

"Look who's walking the walk of shame," Sheppard said, smiling as they walked over.

Lorne and Cadman blushed and sat down next to each other. "Shut up," Lorne said. When Sheppard raised his eyebrows, he added, "Sir." Everyone at the table laughed.

"Don't start back sassing me, Major," Sheppard said. "I could just tell everyone your little secret. You know, about the state I found you in this morning."

"What secret?" Carter asked. She looked at Lorne and Cadman. "What'd you do last night--?" Carter's eyes opened wide as she realized what it was. Everyone else must have realized it, too, because they had the same reaction as Carter.

"You just had to blab your mouth, Colonel, didn't you?" Lorne said through gritted teeth. "Now everyone knows!"

"Not everyone," Sheppard said. "Just all the people at this table."

"Close enough," Cadman muttered. She suddenly shot up in alert and looked over at Lorne. He looked at her confusedly. She whispered, "The thing we talked about that we were going to do with the girls' help…" He realized what she meant. "Sorry, but we have to leave," Cadman said as she stood up with Lorne.

They threw away the rest of the food that they didn't eat. Then, they headed through the halls towards the botany lab. In the botany lab, they saw Katie Brown. They ran over to her and whispered the code: "The bald eagle will fly." Katie nodded and spread the news around to the rest of the girls that were involved.

When all the girls new and were all grouped together with Lorne and Cadman in the lead, they headed down to the mess hall where Sheppard still was. In the mess hall, they grabbed him, lifted him up, and carried him to where the poker night had taken place. Sergeant Mehra and Captain Vega tied him down to a solitary chair with ropes.

"Ladies, whatever I did, I'm sorry," he pleaded. "I do stuff sometimes that I-- Major Lorne, is that you?"

Lorne stepped out of the shadows and faced Sheppard with Cadman at his side. "Hi, Colonel. How's it going?"

"Not very well, Major. Listen, I think I did something to upset the girls… I don't know what. Can you untie me?" Sheppard asked him.

Lorne stepped forward; a small step, but a step nonetheless. He crossed his arms and looked at Sheppard defiantly. "Sorry, sir, but that'd be impossible. You see, it isn't the girls that are mad at you, Colonel. Well, one of them is a girl, but the other one isn't."

"Wait a minute… what are you talking about?"

"He's talking about these," Cadman said, holding up the handcuffs. "You handcuffed us together, and now you get the punishment for it."

"Punishment?" Sheppard asked. "Look, I'm sorry for being such a bad magician. I can't help it! And I'm also sorry for losing the key in the ocean and having to have you two wait out the next few days while I made other people search for it. But look at the bright side; you guys had a great time last night--"

"Shut up!" Cadman yelled.

"Wait, what does he mean by that?" Dr. Porter asked.

"He's talking about the party. We had such a good time at the party last night," Cadman said in a worried voice. "Enough of that, though. Ladies," she called.

A bunch of girls made a circle around Sheppard, Lorne, and Cadman. One of them, Major Teldy, handed Cadman something. When Sheppard saw it, he tried to get away, but he was unable to due to the ropes that tied him down.

"No, please! Look, I'm sorry. I swear I'll never do it again! Please, don't do it! That's an order, Lieutenant. Stand down. No!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cadman laughed as she and Lorne walked through the halls on their way to the mess hall for a quick bite. "I still can't get the look on his face when he saw the razor. He was so scared. I thought he was going to pee his pants from fear!"

Lorne laughed with her. "That is going to be a favorite memory. I'm glad that Amelia got some pictures of the aftermath. Mehra said that she also got some pictures of Sheppard's face, so there'll be no forgetting that."

"Especially since, as a technician, she's gossip central. She's going to show EVERYONE the pictures. Sheppard is going to be so embarrassed."

"It's not like everyone's not going to know. As much as he'd like to, I'm pretty sure that Carter wouldn't let him hide in his quarters until it all grows back."

They entered the mess hall and grabbed a granola bar each. "Let's go sit with Carter," Lorne said, pointing to a table in the far corner where only Carter sat. They walked over and sat down across from her.

"Major, Lieutenant, I see that Colonel Sheppard finally released you from the handcuffs," she said as they sat down. "I'm surprised that you're not doing your own separate things. Haven't gotten sick of each other yet?"

"We just needed to take care of some business before we go our separate ways," Cadman said. "By the way, have you seen the good ol' colonel today?"

Carter thought for a minute and shook her head. "I don't think so. Why?"

Before Cadman could reply, a roar of laughter echoed through the mess hall. "That's why."

Carter's eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped open. "Oh, wow. Is that your work?"

Lorne and Cadman nodded, smiling, as they watched Sheppard duck his head down in shame and embarrassment.

"I must say, you did a good number on him," Carter said. She looked back at them. "I'm never going to forget this. Nobody else, either. Life is good, isn't it?" Without waiting for an answer, she stood up and walked away.

Lorne looked over at Sheppard again, staring at Sheppard's BALD head. He gave a small chuckle before turning to Cadman. "Yes, life is good." Without worrying about all the non-frat regs, he leaned in and kissed her.

A/N: There it is. The last chapter. BTW, if you couldn't get it, they shaved Sheppard's head. :D


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